snorlaxatives:

i’m so popular at parties i make the best mixed drinks

image

(via niam-bells)

regalrebellion:

apeturemurder:

thepivotsxxd:

I wasn’t ready for that.

I don’t think anyone was ready for that.

(via stormafter)

jerryspringers:

when u say a really clever comeback without stuttering

image

(via dorkoville)

selmabouvier:

i haven’t been to subway in 2 years cos the woman went “what bread do you want” and i went “yeah”

(Source: grotbag, via luveing)

(Source: sprousetwinsblog, via pizza)

(Source: hailshailene, via damnilovemynascarrace)

hale0bound:

(Source: bilesbilllinski, via stormafter)

(Source: slowmotionformesid, via jordaanstaal)

queerfabulousmermaid:

musingsofanawkwardblackgirl:

OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Gordo keepin it real

(Source: tvpixels, via penaltyforbeingphilly)

my mom: it's 11 go to sleep
me: actually its 10:58

sluttyoliveoil:

once my friend was waiting for her mom to pick her up and she called her mom and her mom said “im on my way, the traffic is just slow, im coming” and my friend went “mom i called the house phone”

(via get-the-duck-boats-ready)

stuning:

huntelaarr:

2005 wasn’t just 2005

it was the beginning of an era

image

omfg i remember this

(Source: tweezing, via pizza)